The Good Wife: "Don't Haze Me, Bro" and all that Swishiness

Episode Title: "Don't Haze Me, Bro"

Season 4, Episode 4 | Original Air Date: Sunday, October 21, 2012

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“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness”… but most of all, it was the age of drama.

And that’s the best age of all. 

Goodbye 27^th floor, hello shared office space.  Goodbye clean slate, hello scandal.  Goodbye everything we've ever known, hello season 4.  With all of this messy drama, I’m pulling apart this week’s episode to look at ‘Don’t Haze Me, Bro’ as a turning-point for season four of The Good Wife.  Also, I've got some big questions, like: 1) Who is leaking to the press? And 2) Has Cary really been working in the lunchroom for the last two months?  Feel free to dig in with me by sounding off in the comments below.

His and Hers Offices

Diane is mad.  And apparently she eats Wheaties.  Both of these things are unusual and not just because I never pegged Diane for a cereal eater.  After going to review what’s left of the 27^th floor, Diane is more determined than ever to get Lockhart Gardner back on top.  It’s going to be a challenge, but I admire her for dreaming big.  First the firm will return to its former office space glory and then they’ll expand.  New York?  You bet.  The world?  Clearly the next stop.  The only one getting in the way?  That pesky Clarke Hayden. 

While Hayden seems to have a legitimate care and concern for Lockhart Gardner, Diane can’t help but think he’s undermining the firm’s success.  Yes, they need to hire an accountant who can actually, well, account, and sure they need to cut back on expenses – fresh flowers just don't grow on trees.  Well, they do, but they don't put themselves in vases, so that's the point – but when it comes to sharing office space, that’s where Diane draws the line.  One would think Diane would embrace the chance to share an office with Will.  Oh wait, that’s me. 

For fans of The Good Wife, I think it’s easy to see validation in having Hayden on staff.  He’s the voice of reason in an otherwise unreasonable world.  “At some point you’ll realize I’m trying to save you from yourself,” notes Hayden.  He’s more invested in the firm’s sustainability than the fair-weather David Lee, yet because he’s new to the scene, everyone loathes his suggestions.

Everyone but Cary Agos.

With the 27^th floor demolished, the seating arrangements at Lockhart Gardner are in a state of flux.  Hayden has a plan (and by the looks of it, a lot of agile workers willing move large mahogany furniture) to condense three floors to two.  It’s at this point we find out the beloved golden boy, Cary Agos, hasn't had a desk, filing cabinet, office chair or paperweight in two months.  Seriously?  Where has he been working?  The lunchroom?  Eli’s closet?  Will’s bathroom?  Does this man even have business cards?

Noting the injustice of seating, Hayden approaches Alicia to ask how she feels about Cary.  The review she gives is glowing and before long, Cary has moved into Alicia’s space.  Already it’s loud and full of madness, but this is a partnership that just might work.  Also, this could finally be the push needed to get Cary a bigger role on The Good Wife (something that has been missing). 

Now, I've said it before and I’ll say it again: These two are destined to start their own firm.  Sharing offices?  Step 1.  Welcome to the hallowed halls of Florrick Agos.  It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?  I hear the 27^th floor is available for rent…

Pass the Gin and Titonic

There’s nothing worse than a bad date.  You know what I’m talking about: That moment when you look at your watch, secretly hoping the crab cake appetizer you just ate was tainted with listeria and that you’ll have an excuse to exit stage right because of near-death food poisoning?  Watching Alicia’s drink date with Maddie was like that… but maybe worse.  No amount of gin could cover how awkward things got when Alicia brought up Peter’s campaign and his supposed fidelity.  Why didn't she stick with her gut instinct and leave it to Maddie to bring up politics?  Why did she feel the need to justify her marriage to Peter?  Why did she have to kiss him in the last episode?  Whhhhhhy?

I’ll be the first to admit I have some not-so pent-up angst about Peter, but Alicia unwittingly sabotaging a budding friendship with Maddie because of Peter was so disheartening. I hope these two get a second round at the local watering hole - this is a relationship Alicia needs.

The Return of Jackie Florrick

A cold wind was blowing today and I couldn't help but think, Jackie Florrick is near. Like the cat who came back the very next day, Jackie continues to surface just when you've resigned to the fact she’ll have to be treacherous from a hospital bed.  This week, her pearls were clasped, her hair was pinned and her lipstick had a perfect lustre.  The only thing missing? The Jackie we’ve come to know.  Since her stroke she has been struggling with her senses and her confused reality.  It’s true, she’s always lived in a bit of a delusional world, where Peter walked on water, but it’s always been about what she wanted to believe, not what her mind was convincing her into.  Now she’s seeing bugs crawling across her speeches and doing the backstroke in her wine.  She’s tearing up over Alicia’s loyalty and zoning out while composing simple sentences. 

This is not the Jackie Florrick we've come to know and love to hate. 

This development is going to take The Good Wife into an entirely new world – a place where the lines between lies and truth are blurred, where darkness eludes light and where reality is superseded by imagination.  On second thought, maybe Jackie’s new-found issues are a direct reflection of Peter’s campaign.  Either way, it’s going to be a sad road for Jackie, but it’s sure to be interesting for Peter, Alicia, Eli and the viewers.

And the Best Scene of the Night Goes to…

Eli Gold and his epic meltdown while on the phone to Jim Moody (who we haven’t seen in a while, but it’s sure nice to know he’s back on the campaign trail!).

When discussing Jackie and her Peter has always has many women around-inspired speech: “Beat her off with a 2x4 if you have to!” 

Oh Eli Gold, welcome back.

Who is Leaking to the Press?

It’s the straw poll party.  American flags are flying, people are eating sausages cut into coins skewered on those little plastic-ended toothpicks and voters are hip-hip-hooraying all things Peter Florrick.  Well, all people but Eli.  Why?  Because he just got a call from ‘Jimmy V,’ a blogger with PoorAnarchy.com and the news isn't good.  Let’s face it though: Eli’s phone rarely brings good news (Jackie botched a speech, Peter slept with an intern, the Kung Pow Palace is all out of ginger beef – you know, the result is always the same).  In any case, Jimmy V says he is going to run with a story that a magazine he knows, is sitting on an article of Peter’s new scandal.  It’s going to press in one hour.  Click. Say what?!

My first question:  Who leaked this story?  I have three lines of thought here: 1) Kalinda.  It's a unlikely yet fascinating theory to ponder.  She is out to protect Alicia and she's pro-team Gardner.  Could she be working for Eli and clearing scandals on one side the fence while slipping information to a local blogger on the other?  2) Maggie.  She's in a mood that Eli rained on her Peter parade and this is one way all her work would still pay off.  3) Miss Star - the campaign worker accusing Peter of the hotel visit.  She's mad about Kalinda accusing her of lying and she knows people are looking into her story.  She could have easily spilled the beans on the article.

My second question: Why does Eli answer his phone when ‘unknown caller’ surfaces?  Okay, sure, it’s his business to be responsive, but the way the camera menacingly panned down to the call display, we could all tell it was going to be bad news. 

Other Notables

• The case of the week: Chicago PolyTech vs. Lockhart Gardner.  In a case about hazing and bullying, this week’s in-court drama was another stunning example of art imitating life.  Judge Brochard was just the right amount of quirky while looking shockingly similar to Jimmy Kimmel.  Please tell me I’m not the only one who noticed?
• The use of ‘swishiness.’  Chummy the Gopher (squirrel?) last week, “swishy” this week – The Good Wife never ceases to entertain and educate.  I’m sure the people over at Merriam-Webster are busy crafting a new entry as I type: The act of not being gay while being feminine, or being gay while not appearing as such = swishy.
  
• Kalinda is busy working for Eli who is, as we all know, is busy working for Peter.  It’s deliciously awkward without Eli even knowing it.  This is story line is like a slow-ticking time bomb.  Ka-boom!

Up Next: "Waiting for the Knock"

"When you protect the devil, prepare for hell."  Consider me intrigued. 

One of my favourite characters is about to return: Lemond Bishop is back and things seem dodgier than ever.  Next week we're taken to Bishop's house, a place we've never seen but are about to become intimately acquainted with (and, which looks strikingly similar to Highland Park, no?).  Bishop's son is the single most important person in his life, so watching how his illegitimate business might interfere with his master plan is just the kind of inspired drama I've been looking for.  Also, let's not forget when last we saw Bishop he was threatening Kalinda to get the FBI off his back.  Could K be able to use Bishop as a pawn in her game to oust Nick from her life?  Let the countdown to "Waiting for the Knock" to begin!

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